Elise's Adventures in the Midwest: Episode 4

Subject: Elise's Trip to the Midwest: Smokey Treats and Roy Rogers
Date: 04/25/2002 12:31 PM

I am currently sitting in the University Center at Shawnee State
University in Portsmouth, Ohio. The view out the window here is of
Kentucky. I never knew that there were people in Ohio with Southern
accents until now. The guys here have some hilarious slang too.
Whenever they go out to smoke, and almost all of them smoke, they
say "smokey treats." It sounds like they're saying "smokey trees" so
it makes me laugh.

Portsmouth used to be the largest town in the midwest and the largest
manufacturer of shoes in the country. There's a museum of shoelaces
here and, according to the visitor's guide, "Mitchellace Inc. produces
about 4 million pairs of shoelaces a week, enough in a year to circle
the earth more than 30 times." Portsmouth's other claim to fame is
that Roy Rogers was born here.

On my ride across Ohio from Toledo the other day I tried to be
adventurous. Unfortunately, there's not much adventure to be had in
Ohio. I saw a sign for the National Shrine of Her Lady Consolation
(or something like that) in Carey so I stopped to see. At the town
limit there is a sign proudly proclaiming that the Carey high school
football team were state champions... in 1975(!). I managed to miss
the sign for the National Shrine so I drove around town a bit. I've
never seen so many garden decorations in my life (I must admit that
driving around the midwest has made me really want a garden gnome.
Every time I pass a garden gnome stand, I have to convince myself
not to buy one. After all, I can't exactly take a gnome on a plane.
If I were driving home, I don't think I would be able to control myself).
Anyway, I finally got to the National Shrine and it was huge. I find
it so weird that some little town in the middle of Ohio has a huge
Catholic shrine. I have no idea why it's there but it was pretty and
more than I had expected.

After getting back on the road I saw a sign that said, "Christmas Castle: Open all year round!" I could hardly contain my glee and I was grinning stupidly my whole way to the castle. Sadly, the Christmas "Castle" was no more than a brick building that sells ornaments and other Christmas knicknacks. I was so disappointed that I didn't even stop.

A little further down the road, I saw another sign, "Outdoor Drama." Hmmmmm. What could that be? So I drove into Tecumseh and up into the hills, the "Little Smokies," in search of whatever that could be. It turns out there's a really neat outdoor amphitheater in the middle of nowhere. It reminded me of Red Rocks in Colorado only without the red rocks.

That was it for my driving tour of Ohio. By the time I got to
Portsmouth I was so near Kentucky, where I've never been, so I had to
drive across the Ohio River and check it out. Looks just like Ohio
only I can say I was in Kentucky. Woohoo. Seriously, though, both
sides of the river have beautiful, brilliantly green landscapes.

This is the final installment of my journal from the Midwest.
Tomorrow I will be flying back to DC :( Oh well. The fun had to end
some time. To all in the DC area, I will see you soon. To everyone
else, keep in touch and thanks for reading.

~Elise