Boo/ In remembrance

I'm home sick. Actually, oddly enough, I needed this; I needed a break but, because of the type of person I am, I have trouble taking mental health days. I guess this is my body's way of telling me I need to rest.

Why do I need a break so much? Well, for one, I haven't really had a long vacation since I went to Mexico last January. And, two, my grandmother died last week.

I shouldn't call her grandmother, though. She always hated that. Despite the fact that she was 81, she considered "grandmother" a term for old women, and she was not old. I didn't even know that she was 81 until the funeral this past Saturday. Hilva, which is what I do (did) call her, was not actually my real grandmother, but rather my step-grandmother. When her daughter first married my father, I thought that Hilva hated me because I was proof of my father's previous marriage. Years later, I felt quite silly for ever having thought this, especially when I learned that Hilva, herself, had two, or quite possibly three, marriages.

In college, I took two summer internships in New York City and had the privilege of living with and getting to know Hilva. We were perfect roommates; we dined together and gossiped together, but we both were allowed our own space. Even though we were not related through blood, she always treated me like we were. And even though she was wealthy and I never felt like I had the right clothes or the right manners for our outings, she was always pleased with my company.

I know that Hilva, like all people, had her bad side, but she rarely showed it to me. In all of the time that I spent with her over the past six years, I only remember seeing her behave badly twice, and neither time had anything to do with me. I think that we got along because we clicked so well (according to an online personality test I once made her take, we were 100% compatible) and I could read her well. I liked our status quo, and, luckily, I never had to work too hard to maintain it.

Hilva was a very generous and loving person. She welcomed my friends and me into her homes and into her restaurants. She told me fabulous stories about her life and her loves. I will miss her very much, but as her daughter (my step-mother) said this week, "Thank goodness she died before inauguration day." Hilva was a huge democratic supporter and she really wanted John Kerry and John Edwards to win last November. George Bush's election wore on her.

Because today is inauguration day, I am writing this for Hilva. She would have hated today and I'm sure she would have called our house several times to complain. I had planned to protest the inauguration in her honor, but my sickness will probably prevent that. Instead I write this to balance out the day. Some fond remembrances on such a negative day must count for something.

Hilva, I love you and I wish you well wherever you are.