Open letter to illegal parkers

This one goes out to anyone who has ever knowingly parked illegally on a heavily-traveled street during rush hour.*

Dear illegal parkers:

Do you think that you are more important than everyone else on the road? Do you think that it is okay to park right outside Chipotle to grab a burrito at 5:30 PM because you are too lazy (or in too much of a hurry or whatever your excuse is) to look for a legal parking space? Well, I've got news for you. When you do that, you screw up everyone else's schedule. By blocking a lane, you cause traffic to build up. Don't you know about the Butterfly Effect? You think it's okay because you only stopped for 2 minutes. Well, you made my commute 20 minutes longer. Thanks a lot.

*A big shout out to all you illegal parkers on M Street in the AM and the PM.